I HATE CHAR!

Tuesday morning is really a stunning morning
I woke up dazed as usual

all of a sudden I got a voice in my head!

Im depressed... YES
Im UGLY..... YES
Im FAT...... YES
Im getting lazy... YES
Health is getting worse... YES
Skin is getting worse.... Yes
Becoming more heck care... YES (now i can leave the house wihout make-up)
Im skipping gym training... YES
Low self-esteem... YES
No self-confidence... YES
Low morale... YES

Wah i think i can go bang my head and die....

Oh, i think Im becoming the old SUSAN BOYLE.....no wonder people are laughing at me
when Im out with Emma.


What the hell am I doing?? I wasnt like this in the past...
I couldnt leave the house without make-up and contact lens.
Now Im wearing specs and leaving the house in ugly frumpy clothes without make-up
I was just hoping i was invisible and people cant see me.....
Highly impossible as im getting bigger!

Until recently, i realise i hate being myself... I hate being Char...
what happen to that old Char whom I adore so much... She is long gone....


Argghhh.... this cannot go on anymore!
I need to CHANGE for the better... I have to... MUST!

I better stay sober from now on......
1st I will schedule for a new hair cut and adhere to EMMA's training program.
I hope my determination doesnt disappear by end of TODAY!

P/s: Irene & Marina... Pls slap me if you see me slacking back!
and fixed me with Sabrina.... I keep missing the appointment!