TO HELP OR NOT TO HELP

Not sure will I get into trouble for posting this extract from a circulated email.
But its hilarious and to a certain extend.... quite true.

Dear Prime Minister,
We citizens of Singapore urge you to PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
We DO NOT NEED your help. Every time, you mention HELP, we have to run or cover!!!
Help the poor?
Raise GST !
Help traffic flow? Up ERP!
Help passenger service? Up Bus fare/MRT fare! Help us get taxi? Raise taxi fare! Help us get good government? Raise Minister and Civil servant salary! Everytime YOU WANT TO HELP, we all PAY FOR IT!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU¡­TOLONG LAH, please, we will HELP OURSELVES, no need
your help liao. We DARE NOT ask for help any more!!!

Sir, most honoured sir, I urge you NOT TO HELP Singapore INVEST also!
Everytime your wife invest, we all lose money! Kao liao, kum siah!
Just let us have a dose of bad governance, like recently the Mat Selamat
case, like dat¡­.so far, it is ok, your incompetence, we ACCEPT!
PLEASE DO NOT help us have better security! Wait we all kena PAY FOR IT!!
I believe ALL SINGAPOREANS PREFER NOT TO HAVE CRUTCH MENTALITY!
I think it is ok lah, please just take your salary and enjoy life ok?

Thank you thank you,
I am very chin chai one, any how any how, no need to help oso can one.

Following is a reply from the Prime Minister's Office:
Date: Saturday, 2 August, 2008.

Dear Chin Chai One,
10Q you for your letter.
On behalf of the Prime Minister, I am replying to your letter as follows:
As the erected party of Singaporeans, we are here to serve.
We are demon-cratic country, you are master, we gahmen servant, we serve you.
You got problems we must help. You say no need our help?
That means you're not Singapore's master. You say you run for cover?
Cannot one, our police will find you.
GST is to help the Gahmen to help yourself.
The Gahmen Service Tax is everywhere,
you go America also have one, cannot run one.
Traffic very bad, so bad that we have to hold car racing at nite to avoid traffic jam.
We believe there is no free lunch like PM's father say before,
you use, you must pay, so Every Road Pay. So you see no ERP cannot one.
Needless to say, passenger service also must pay.
The increase in bus fare and MRT and taxi fare are very little already.
We foresee world inflation coming: oil, steel, pay of foreign talents, etc,
so we have to pay for the service. You see, many foreign talents come to Singapore .
If we don't pay our ministers well, they will go other countries to be their foreign talents.
So must raise salary to keep them.
If not, Nathan, Shanmugam, Bala etc will go Indiaand work. Khaw will go Malaysia .
etc etc. Must keep them. To keep them must pay well.
You are right, any help also must pay. To help yourself? No, it's illegal.
You mean you can build your own MRT? Run your own buses?
Drive your Ba-Ong-Chia? Build your own roads? Seow liao!!
Every one help himself then how? No social order lah!
Ga ga ask for help, we are here to serve you. We understand some of you
have temporary problem. Don't worry, it is only short term. We must look long term.
We must invest long term. Now lose a bit don't cow beh cow boo, long term!
Yes, remember. 30 or 50 years later we will own Swiss banks, US banks,
UK properties, maybe even South Pole condominiums. We must tighten our
seat belt and bite our false teeth. The future very bright. As long as you
continue to support the gahmen 30 to 50 years you will see bright future.
So Chiang See Tong a bit lah. Also, investing is very complicated business, not easy.
We must pay school fee to learn from advanced countries.
On Selamat's case, we also must learn our lesson.
We encourage life-long-learning. I learn whole life time,
you learn whole life, Mr Wong Can't Sing also whole life learning.
It's actually good. Mr Wong already apologise, don't force a dog to jump
over the wall, the wall may collapse. Old dog cannot jump high also.
Selamat's case gives us many lessons. We must be on alert, not too
complacent. Now every Singaporean know there can be a terrorist
among us any time. This is the best self defence education !!
PM will give Mr Wong another salary increment for that. Also now we
merge the prisons and detention centre, more space will be available now.
We will build it like another IR, Integrated Retention - so those don't want our
service and thinking of doing illegal service will go there.
We will pass a new law too, the expenses for stay in that IR will be
deducted from your CPF money. Remember we must be grateful to
people who help us -- and pay. I hope I have explained the situation and
give you the message clearly.
If you still need help, please call my handphone: 9990-6767 , it's toll-free.
By the way, Mr Chin Chai One, our pioneer Toh Chin Chai already toh long ago.
So if you choose to be Chin Chin Chai Chai, you will also Toh.

10Q you again,
Reguards,
AhBeng Grassrude secretary